Graduation Looming

Seven years ago our daughter began her academic journey at Plano Elementary as a kindergartner.  Seven years later, she has turned into a young woman.  It seems like it happened overnight.  I sometimes look at her and wonder...who is this child sitting next to me, snuggling up, grabbing my hand.  I hardly recognize her.  She has literally grown UP.

 To say she is driven is an understatement.  This girl raises the bar for herself and is passionate about what she invests her time and energy into.  Academics are a big deal to her.  She was telling me the other day that if she gets all 'A's' this quarter, she'll get the Presidential Award, meaning she has been on the All 'A' Honor roll every quarter since 4th grade.  She also received Distinguished marks in all four subject areas of KPREP testing last year and will be recognized at the Celebration of Excellence event next month.  

Sports are a big deal to her.  Currently, she is in four open gyms weekly.  She goes to volleyball two days a week and basketball two days a week.  This week basketball was cancelled, and because my BFF and talented photographer friend lives super close, I totally put her on the spot and asked if she could squeeze us in for a session in her beautiful canola fields on Thursday.  She said if we could come right after school, she'd be happy to take some pictures.  It's been a while since I've had nice photographs taken, and the setting at her place is breathtaking, especially this time of the year.

I was overwhelmed by the pictures she sent me that night.

Friends are a big deal to her.  We talked at the first of the year about the possibility of planning a special trip for all the 6th Grade students towards the end of the school year.  I met with my Peeps Christy and Amy to plan the event.  Once we got the okay from our school principal, we set our plans in motion, distributed flyers, reminder notes, e-reminders and set up a facebook event under our Plano school group page.  We wanted to do a trip that didn't require us to collect money ahead of time, wasn't on a school day and was special - a NASHVILLE FUN DAY.

 

And that event happened TODAY!  Despite the fact that Mother Nature was calling for major thunderstorms, we kept our fingers crossed and thankfully ended up with a gorgeous day.

Our friend Nathan has been terribly sick this week and wasn't able to come with us so we decided to take him with us in "spirit" - stick head Nathan.  The kids all signed a card for him as well!

 The first stop was at SKY HIGH Jump, a trampoline park in Nashville.

 I'm sure the kids got sick of all the pictures, but we didn't care.  We parents were like the paparazzi snapping away =).

 

 We had tried to get a reservation at Rain Forest Cafe at Opry Mills because that was going to be our stop after SKY HIGH.  However, since this was the weekend of the Country Music Marathon and a few other events, the manager told us that it would hard to fit us in.  That news was a blessing in disguise because we found the perfect restaurant about 4 minutes away called Monell's at the Manor.  I had eaten with friends at Monell's in Nashville (Germantown) years ago and remember it being really good.  The cool thing about Monell's is they are wonderful about accommodating large groups of people.  We RSVP-ed and told them we'd have about 35 people coming around noon.  We didn't have to wait to long and all got to sit together.  It's a pass-the-plate environment and the food is endless.  We were all stuffed by the end of the meal. 

 After Monell's we took the kids over to Opry Mills.  We'd planned to go see a movie but many of the kids just wanted to walk around the mall and hang out together.  We decided to forego the movie and let them run around together.  I didn't get any mall pictures because almost immediately after we arrived, the kids scattered like flies everywhere.  We hung out there for about an hour or so before heading back home.  It was such a fun day and hopefully one the kids will never forget!  Sniff, sniff...round one of graduation begins this week with the 212 Graduation on Tuesday night.  It's going to be an emotional few weeks ahead.

Parenting an AWESOME Son

When my kids were little, I read loads of books on parenting and discipline - How to get your children to mind without losing yours kinds of books (in fact, I think that was the name of one of them).  You are exposed to all kinds of methods of parenting - not only from your personal experience, but those of your spouse, friends, etc.  I came across a focus on the family website this week about child discipline which provided this four quadrant grid on different types of parenting styles.  It helps me understand myself better and maybe it will help one of my readers as well.

1. The Permissive Parent. The upper left quadrant represents parents who are high in love but low in discipline: the permissive parent. The study revealed that permissive parents tend to produce children with very low self-esteem and feelings of inferiority. Though the parents express a lot of love, the lack of boundaries leaves their children with a high level of insecurity. The kids feel loved, but they are never sure of their limits. Their parents are generally fearful, afraid of messing up and damaging their chil­dren's psyche, so they never set firm boundaries. The kids feel very loved and very unsure of themselves.

2. The Neglectful Parent. The lower left quadrant belongs to the worst of all four combinations: the neglectful parent. This kind of parent doesn't express much love and also doesn't really care enough to discipline. Their children tend to grow up with little or no lasting relationship with Mom or Dad. They're estranged because they feel forsaken. The parents' neglect may not neces­sarily be intentional — they may simply be in the midst of their own traumas and chaos, like an addiction or an abusive situa­tion. They don't purposely desire to neglect their kids, but they don't know how to deal with their own issues adequately and don't have the tools to be healthy parents. These children grow up with unbelievably deep emotional scars, and their only hope is to find Christ, be surrounded by godly role models, and get some good Christian counseling.

3. The Authoritarian Parent. The authoritarian parent shows up in the lower right quadrant. This kind of parent doesn't express love and affection well but is very high on discipline. They raise children who are provoked to rebellion. The bar is always high and the "musts" are always abundant, so there's a strong sense of safety. But this kind of parent isn't content just to win the war; they have to win every battle too. Communication between parent and child takes the form of arguing and fighting, espe­cially when the child is old enough to fight back. Authoritarian parents squeeze their kids until the kids can't wait to leave home, and as soon as they do, they rebel. When Paul told the Ephesians not to over correct their children and exasperate them, he was warning authoritarians not to raise children who would reject the faith altogether.

4. The Authoritative Parent. Those who land in the upper right quadrant provide the best combination of love and discipline. This kind of parent is authoritative — not an overbearing authoritarian, but a compassionate yet firm authority. They have clear boundaries but are also very loving. Everyone knows who the boss is, but there's also a connection between parents and child, a consideration that respects and honors who the child is while not compromising his or her disciplinary needs. The result is a child high in self-esteem and equipped with good coping skills.

This secular sociological study found that the parent who balances love and discipline, without compromising either, produces well-adjusted kids who maintain a positive relationship with Mom and Dad. This research, the best available today, affirms parents who express love well and maintain a high degree of control in their home.

All of us want to be in quadrant four, and probably most of us think we are. But before we move on to our biblical case study, consider these questions: Where do you tend to err? If you had to pick a quadrant other than number four to represent your worst moments as a parent, which would it be? Make a mental note of your answer; it will help you later when we look at our parenting through new lenses. 

I am definitely on the right-hand side of the quadrant, no doubt.  If I were super honest and completely transparent, I SHOULD ask my kids what kind of parent they think I am.  That would be a real eye opener because we tend to think of ourselves in a much better light than we actually are.  I deliberately have Romans 12:3 posted at my work desk (NIV) -

"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you."

 Ok, confession time...for some reason, as I've grown into "parenting"- 13 years now, I have gotten more complacent.  And the truth is, I don't have it all figured out and need to make a conscience effort daily about the impact I'm making on my kids. I know there's no guaranteed method to this parenting thing, but I sure hope I'm doing it "right" - whatever than means =).

I say all of the above things to make this point - I feel like I have operated in all four quadrants at some point.  Much of that is based on my child's birth order and my level of expectation (or lack thereof).  I parent all three of our kids differently.   Maybe it's in my head, maybe not, but I find myself expecting a lot out of Isaac. Maybe it's because he is the kid that is MOST like me.  I'm a picky eater, homebody, wrote book series as a kid, loved building forts, was a collector of trinkets and other things, liked sports but didn't want them to consume more time than necessary =).  Isaac is definitely smarter than me, way sloppier and unorganized and much more confident in his social relationships.  We have more similarities than differences.  He's an amazing kid.  I want to be more deliberate in making sure he knows how much I love him (even when I am hard on him).  If I haven't mentioned that I have an awesome 10-year old son lately, shame on me.  And, shame on me for not telling him that more often and blogging about his "awesome-ness."

He is a HUGE Indiana Pacers fan.  Matt and Isaac have been staying late (on school nights) watching all the games leading up to playoffs.  Matt decided to surprise him last Wednesday after school.  He bought tickets to see the Pacers play the Grizzlies in Memphis and got the two of them great seats close to the bench.  They took off right after school and had the best time! Of course, they got home super late.  It was one of those special moments and memories they'll have together.




Speaking of basketball - Karson's 6th Grade class had the opportunity to play the teachers/staff in a game for March Marvelousness (based on Panther Paws, attendance, positive referrals, etc.).  Isaac's teacher Ms. Kirk was one of the players and sent this to Matt and I on game day:

(email from Ms. Kirk) - Too cute not to share! Everyday when I hug him as he leaves, we always have a chat about random things.  As I was giving him his hug for dismissal yesterday, he told me he'd made me a huge sign for today if I played in the basketball game. Be still my heart! It's the little things that boy does that makes me so happy to be his teacher. Not for just making this precious sign, but how subtle and caring he is about people and his school work. 

I told him since I have high expectations for him, I guess that's why he has high expectations for me (shooting them THREES) Hahaha! :) I sure love that creative, precious boy!   

Ms. Kirk is the best!  We are thankful Isaac has a teacher that loves him as much as we do!


Isaac is unlike me in the sense that he loves spending his money.  It burns a hole in his pocket as soon as he gets it.  I am a saver, always have been.   I'm pretty sure he spent around $50 of his own money at Plano's recent bookfair.  Moneybags Deaton =).  Because he had a multitude of AR points this year, he was also able to attend a special field trip to the SOKy Book Fest last Friday.    I told him he could take some of his money if he wanted to buy something, and he grabbed his wallet.  I said why don't you just take a little money and not your entire wallet.  I finally convinced him lugging that around the whole day was not ideal (especially if he lost it), and I didn't want him to spend every dollar he had.  He took a $20 and spent it all.  He was super tickled with his Monster Juice purchases and that he got to meet author M.D. Payne who personalized all his books.  He's been reading them around the clock and even convinced me to order another one for him that is missing in this series - he purchased books 1, 2 & 4 - 3 didn't look as interesting as 4 (but he also wanted 3).  There's also a 5 & 6.

 All 4th graders in Warren County Schools are exposed to the recorder for their Music Education. Towards the end of the school year, there is a recorder concert which Isaac had zero desire to attend.  Because I fall on the right hand side of the parenting quadrant, I told him that it's NOT an option, and that he would be going to the concert.  I told him that Ms. Harrington works way too hard and expects him to participate.  We told him that there are things in life that you don't want to do, but they make you a better, and a more well-rounded person.  When Karson had her concert in 4th grade, it didn't last longer than about 20-30 minutes so I wasn't expecting us to be there very long.  As we were walking in, Miles was telling Isaac that he would not play the recorder in 4th grade.  Both Karson and Isaac jumped down his throat and told him that he HAD to - Isaac proceeded to tell him that he didn't even want to come to the concert but had to (do you think I WANT to be here).  Great attitude =). He buried himself in the back row.  You can barely see him in the video.  He was one of the few kids that showed up without music - he pointed to his head and said it was all up there.  He's a mess - an awesome MESS - and he's mine! I love him so much!

Meet Me In St. Louis

I can't count the number of times I've been to Gatlinburg which is a rather short distance from Bowling Green, but we have managed to miss the opportunity to see some other cool places close to home.  St. Louis is one them.  After recent visits to Boston, Atlanta and Chicago, we are LOVING big cities.  We took a mini-vacation with the kids to St. Louis over Spring Break. I found a room at the Drury Inn near the arch with an indoor swimming pool, hot tub, free breakfast AND dinner.  Our room was super awesome too.  It was a two-room suite with two queen beds in one room and a sleeper sofa, refrigerator and microwave in the other room - lots of space. We left Wednesday afternoon and arrived around 7:00ish.  The arch was literally right at our back door.  After we got settled, we walked over to get a better look at it.  I don't think I have ever seen anything that cool!  It's literally takes your breath away.  I have to admit looking up at it made my heart BEAT out of my chest, my palms sweat and my feet tingle - 630 feet in the air. 

It was fairly late when we got to St. Louis, and the kids were really wanting to go swimming in the indoor pool.  We headed back to the hotel and got their suits on.  There is a scene in the movie Titanic where the ship is sinking and everyone is scrambling to race to the top of the boat while others are already in the ocean swimming.  It's a sad scene with all of those survivors ending up in the ocean - but the scene and the masses of people in the ocean all concentrated in one area, reminded me much of what it was like in the Drury indoor swimming pool.  I'm certain the pool was WAY over capacity and was teeny tiny.  There was zero room to swim or do much of anything.  The kids lasted about 10 minutes before they were ready to go back to the room.  Matt and I were just as excited.  The chlorine in the room was strong enough to make your eyes water, and there was no where to sit.

We hadn't made any concrete plans for the week but had an idea about the things we wanted to do.  Since the weather looked sketchy on Thursday, we decided it was the perfect day to visit The City Museum.  We also made the worst decision to walk over there because it was a short distance from our hotel.  We managed to stumble upon the City Garden

Igor Mitoraj - Eros Bendato or the big sideways head sculpture with my son's finger up the nose.

 

Jim Dine - Big White Gloves, Big Four Wheels - the sculpture which looks just like Pinocchio to me.

 

The swirly wheel (left) and the sink stopper (right) is what I have named these sculptures.

Tom Claassen Untitled (two rabbits) or FIVE rabbits if you count our crazy, rabbit-ear giving kiddos.

I thought this was the BRIGHT spot in our LONG walk to the museum.  The kids were pooped by the time we got there, and I immediately noticed about 4-6 school busses parked out back.  I imagine the average kids love the City Museum, and I know that I would have loved it as a kid.  My kids weren't fans.  I can't really put my finger on it, but Karson didn't like all the crawling and climbing and banged her legs and knees up pretty good.  People covered the entire facility - it was super crowded.  All Isaac could think about was when we would be going in the Gateway Arch (he had that on his brain since we'd arrived).  It was very humid inside.  I climbed and did my best to try and encourage the kids to take off and explore.  They were attached right on our hips.  At one point, one of the workers convinced me to go down in this tiny hole called the dungeon which was tight and super narrow.  It was also a one-way tunnel where you had to hunch over and "feel" your way through.  Karson followed right at my heels, but Matt and the boys were chickens.  The worker took them over to where the tunnel ended.  I have never been that glad to see light and get out of that - Matt actually had to hoist me up.  The concrete rock was too slippery for me to get secure footing on. The dungeon managed to lead up straight over to the 10-story slide which required lots of hiking up a spiral staircase.

 We spent a combined two hours at the museum, and that was plenty of time for our crew.  They were ready to leave after about an hour, but we MADE them continue to explore and look around.  (In all seriousness) I would highly recommend this attraction to any tourist visiting, but there's a good chance we will never go back. Weirdos.

Brothers don't shake hands, brothers gotta hug ~ Tommy Boy

We were all pretty hungry by the time we left and landed at Bailey's Range.  A friend had recommended it to us, and it totally hit the mark.  The food was wonderful, and I could not stop eating.  I was secretly happy the boys didn't have big appetites because once I finished my burger, I started chowing on theirs.

With full bellies, we made our way back to the hotel but decided to stop at the Old Courthouse to purchase our tickets for the Arch and paddle boat tours for Friday's agenda.  It was actually a better deal to purchase them at the courthouse than online.  I had perused the website and debated on when to purchase tickets and decided to wait.  I'm glad I did because it saved us close to $20.  It wouldn't have bothered me if all the tours were full - the idea of going up in that arch made me ALL KINDS of nervous.  We managed to secure our spots for 12:10 and the paddle boat tour for 1:30.  We headed back to the hotel in the late afternoon, and the kids wanted to do some more swimming.  We basically had the entire pool to ourselves which was nice.  We spent the evening chilling at the hotel, watching TV, playing cards and what has become Isaac's new obsession...

It cracks me up playing with Karson and Isaac.  They are both on opposite ends of the spectrum.  Karson is all about the degrees, wealth, furthering her career - Earn It and Learn It and Isaac is all about getting married and having babies, getting a mansion and sports car - Love It.  They like to play with tons of years too which makes the game last FOR-ever.  It's a fun time away from the electronics though =). 

 

After breakfast on Friday morning, we decided to spend some time exploring the Old Courthouse which was right across the street from our hotel.  The interior is breathtaking, built between 1839-1862, it was a significant historical place where Dred and Harriet Scott sued for freedom from slavery and Virginia Minor fought for women’s right to vote. We got to see a couple of the restored courtrooms and exhibits describing how St. Louis served as a hub for early settlers moving west.  We also visited the gift shop, and the lady behind the counter told us about a few places we should try and visit during our stay.  I will say this about the residents of St. Louis - every single person that we dealt with during our time there was incredibly nice, friendly and helpful.

 

The package deal that we purchased included a movie, trip to the top and paddle boat tour.   We started our tour with the 30 minute movie about the construction of the arch.  Something about watching the video DID NOT put my mind at ease, besides the fact that none of the workers died while constructing it (that's cool).  After the movie, we killed some time in the gift shop and grabbed some quick snacks before getting in line for our impending death ride up.  It is terrifying looking up at the arch from the ground and riding up 630 feet in that rickety pod is the worst.  However, after you are at the top of the arch, it's actually not that bad - more like being in an airplane.

We spent about 10-15 minutes up there before getting back in line to ride the pod down.  We were cutting it super close to our paddle boat tour and were supposed to be in line for it about 15 minutes early.  Once we got back down to the ground, we raced over to the docks to catch our boat.

DO not, I repeat, DO not waste your money on the paddle boat tour. The worst.  Matt was completely and totally absorbed in the PGA Masters tournament.  The kids were pooped and snacked on popcorn, completely zoned out.  The highlight of the tour was when I was in line for snacks and this curious little girl ran right passed me in line, realized she'd gone too far and got behind me with her mom.  She looked very familiar, but I couldn't place her.  I turned around and briefly glanced at her mother (without staring) to see if I knew them.  I had one of those ah-hah moments a few seconds later and realized the mom was the daughter of one of my ticket office co-workers, Debbie, at SKyPAC (who was also Matt's 5th grade teacher from Alvaton back in the day).  I'd only met Debbie's daughter once or twice so I didn't want to seem weird walking up to her and saying something.  BUT, I couldn't help myself.  I didn't get to talk to her in line but after we both got our concessions - and both got settled - I went up and said something.  Small world!  Small, boring world on the paddle boat tour - BLAH!

We spent late Friday afternoon at the St. Louis Science Center.  FREE admission, and our kids loved it twice as much as the City Museum. 

 

We spent time doing experiments in the lab, digging up dino bones, everything was hands-on, and they were thoroughly entertained and actually took off exploring (unlike the museum where they were glued to our sides).

 

 

At the recommendation of the gift shop attendant at the science center, we ate dinner at Zia's.  I've read the "the hill" is the best place for Italian food, and we were in the carb-filled heart of it Friday night.  She said it was her favorite place, and we really enjoyed the fresh, homemade pasta.

We weren't entirely sure what to do on Saturday, which would be our last day.  We thought Grant's Farm sounded like fun, but it was also opening day which meant it would be packed.  Miles had mentioned wanting to go to the zoo.  Now, as the parent of three kids, we have been to loads of zoos and aquariums.  I have reached that point in my life where I feel like if you've seen one zoo (or aquarium), you've seen them all.  We've been to the Louisville zoo quite a few times and have also been to the aquarium in Gatlinburg and Myrtle Beach.  Miles has always been little though when we've gone to those places, so I'm not sure how much he remembers.  I didn't want to rob him of the opportunity to visit the St. Louis Zoo which is also FREE.  We landed there on Saturday morning, and it was also a trip Highlight!  I would recommend the zoo to anyone.  It was better than any zoo I've ever been to (which isn't saying much because Louisville is the only one I can think of).  After the zoo, we grabbed some grub and got on the road.  St. Louis was a blast!  We loved it and hope to return for a visit in future!