Is it possible to summarize 20 years? I have no idea. It's hard for me to remember the details of yesterday. Matt and I have loved each other for 23 years. Here is the highlight reel....
CHURCH
The Hilltoppers for Christ. It's where we met. Matt rolled into the student center in a Gold Acura and Bright Orange North Face Jacket. I thought he was the most handsome guy I'd ever seen and remembered him playing basketball for Greenwood High year's ago. We'd both grown up in the Church of Christ - me and Greenwood Park, and Matt at Lehman Avenue and Alvaton. We'd crossed paths here and there during high school at church and school functions. During our HFC year's we did lots of dorm bible studies, Tuesday night devotionals, mission work, and weekend trips. He and I drove to Edmonton every single Sunday to work with the Edmonton Church of Christ. After college/marriage, we moved to Georgia for a brief period and worked for Lake Park Church of Christ. Lots of twists and turns in ministry. Matt got his graduate degrees (Master of Arts in Religion and Master of Divinity) from David Lipscomb. We worked at University Church of Christ for a period of time before starting Bowling Green Community Church or Christ which initially met at Bowling Green High School and eventually moved into the 12th Street Church building. Church was a big part of our lives and journey. It was meaningful. It was hard. It was time consuming. Serving in a leadership role came to an end for us. Matt had already carved out a new career path and a more secure future. He'd decided to go back to school and pursue a degree in Education (undergrad in History, Masters in Education, Rank 1 and Masters in Administration). He and I were both working all week and every weekend with full time jobs and a family. Something had to give. After much thought and consideration, we hung up ministry hat.
These are Matt's Ten Commandments, and I love them. Because we're not active in church doesn't change the core of who we are and are trying to be. We still love each other. We still love God. We still strive to be good people. We're not any different. We're still good people who work hard and love
others. We both still serve the community and teach our children
values.1. Seek Love first! Love matters most. God is love.
2. Cherish Tiff and the kids and tell them how much you love them everyday. Really, really, really, really cherish them and make it obvious to the four of them how much that you love them. Tiff only has one husband and the kids only have one dad.
3. Appreciate other people for who they are. Don't compare and judge.
4. Relax (don't worry about your life, breathe/meditate regularly). Life is short. Live as a non-anxious presence. Everything passes quickly. Take time each day to get in a good mental place.
5. Trust that LOVE wins (believe the future is bright).
6. Exercise regularly, eat healthy, sleep well (if possible, take a nap when you're tired).
7. Don't feel bad about feeling bad. Let bad feelings pass.
8. Want what you have (be grateful not entitled. It's all a gift. "Thanks").
9. Choose happiness (do your work and rest with peace, joy and appreciation).
10. Be as kind as possible (when it's all said and done, how you treated other people that will matter the most).
KIDS
It was something Matt and I had talked about at different points during our dating relationship. Having them was sort of the progression of what we both wanted in life. We knew we wanted kids, and we had kids. I can't really process my life before them. I ask myself...what in the world did we even spend our money on? We were married for three years before getting pregnant with Karson. There were no 3-D options, just the basic poltergeist fuzzy screen where the sonographer is pointing to body parts. You're nodding your head pretending to agree with what they're pointing at. You brought in a VHS tape for the recording and got a blurry picture. I gained around 70 lbs. with each pregnancy. People tried consoling me by saying it was all baby. Nope, not true. All our babies were small Karson at 6 lbs., Isaac 7 lbs., and Miles 8 lbs. All I could think about was food and when I could eat next. The hunger disappeared when they were born. One would think nursing babies would make you hungry, and while I was hungry, it was nothing like my pregnant hungry.One thing I controlled was the day of the week my babies were born -all on a Tuesday, like their dad. Tuesday child is full of grace. It's about the only thing I could control. There's nothing easy about the baby years. It's all about survival - mental, physical, and emotional. I read all the books, tried all the tips, never figured it out....still trying to figure it all out...probably never will. One thing we both agree on is that we want to be PRESENT both emotionally and physically for our children. At the end of the day, we want our kids to know that we love them, we hear them, we support them, and we are available - not helicoptery or smothering them to death but available. They need to have their own lives and make their own decisions. It's important to be real with them. It's hard being a teenager, and all we can do is be supportive, loving, and give positive correction.
DWELLINGS
- Worthington Triangle Street in Lake Park, GA
- East 15th Street, BG x 2
- Plainfield Way, BG
- Roseberry Circle, BG
PETS- Daisy and Duke (mini Dachshunds)
- Green Jill the Turtle
- Princess Sparkles Hampster
- a few BETA fish, sea monkeys, and hermit crabs
We plan to celebrate our 20th in New York this July with a quick trip while our kids are at church camp.
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